Dad-isms

If you think I have an opinion on everything, you should meet my father. He's got a one-liner for just about every subject imaginable. Here are just a few off the top of my head.
(Note: these opinions are my father's alone)

• Ever notice that you never see Darth Maul and Dennis Rodman at the same time? (also said about Jabba the Hut and our cat, Athena)

• In my opinion, you should be able to drink at 16, drive at 21, and you should have to apply for a license to have kids.

• If I had a button in front of me that would blow up every TV in the world, I'd push it in a second. (That might've been my uncle, but since they're identical twins they count as the same person.)

• Getting a shipment of lumber is a little bit like Christmas, and a little bit like getting [screwed]. (He's a carpenter).

• If something's worth doing, it's worth doing well.

• My feeling about the Second Amendment are the same as my feeling about the death penalty: I'm for it as long as I get to choose who it applies to.