Mad Lib Politics

This is a simple excercise to help you determine where you fall on the political spectrum. Simply fill in each blank with one of the two answer choices provided.

I love and accept everyone in the world based upon my deep belief in BLANK #1. By "everyone", I mean everyone except BLANK #2. However, I find secret consolation in the knowledge that they'll get their just desserts when BLANK #3. I have a strong libertarian belief that the government should never interfere with BLANK #4. However, I also strongly believe that the government should control BLANK #5. For fun I like to drive my BLANK #6 to the nearest BLANK #7, where I typically down a few BLANK #8 and drunkenly speculate upon the chances that BLANK #9 will run for president.

BLANK #1
a. the teachings of Christ
b. the liberal philosophy of human worth and equality

BLANK #2
a. non-Christians
b. Christians

BLANK #3
a. the Rapture arrives
b. the ice caps melt and flood their beach-front property

BLANK #4
a. health care and the economy
b. abortion and gay rights

BLANK #5
a. abortion and gay rights
b. health care and the economy

BLANK #6
a. Hummer
b. Prius

BLANK #7
a. NASCAR event
b. showing of Rent

BLANK #8
a. Coors
b. glasses of Pinot Noir

BLANK #9
a. Anne Coulter
b. Angelina Jolie


Results
If you chose mostly A's:
Congratulations! You are a proud Republican, member of the Grand Old Party of Lincoln! You should celebrate this discovery by cranking a country song about the beauty of the outdoors while driving your 11mpg SUV with the AC on full.

If you chose mostly B's:
Congratulations! You are a proud Democrat, member of the party of civil rights! You should celebrate this discovery by complaining about how President Bush has sent millions of jobs overseas while driving your foreign-made car to the store to re-stock on imported fruit and beer.



If you had trouble finding answers that matched your own personal convictions, please listen to 10 straight hours of Rush Limbaugh/Al Franken and try again.